Jungian Losers
LIFE:
By society’s standards, Kathy and I could probably be considered losers. Why? Simply because we don’t spend all our time trying to foster relationships with people we wouldn’t want to touch with a dead salamander. Thus, we spend most of our time with small circles of real friends, and maybe just fostering acquaintances. This leads to plenty of time together just reading and watching movies and talking, and not feeling the need to relentlessly attend every party that we can find.
We are introverts. Carl Jung said that people tend toward either extraversion or introversion. Social extraverts focus on the outside world and social introverts focus on an inner reality. Introverts look within rather than without for the center of their lives. Now tell me… which looks more appealing to you? Who do you think is truly happier?
I am not lambasting extraverts for, if that is what they want, fine. What I am saying is that is not the life for me, and trying to be too much of either would be dangerous. Unfortunately, too many people seem to think that being an extremely extraverted person is the way to go, while being a slightly introverted person is the way to rot.
I beg to differ.
Extraverts look to without for their happiness, and that is their problem. They fill their world with the attentions and problems of others that they make no room for themselves. This can often lead to identities shaped by outside forces rather than inward contemplation. And, no matter what the church tells you, outside forces such as clergy, teachers, or even parents can’t tell you who to be or how to be happy. They can feed you the information, but once you blindly subscribe to their ideals, you are lost. Ultimately, YOU have to make the choice of what will make you happy. YOU have to make the choice of how to live. It is YOUR life.
Introverts understand this. Our happiness comes not from thoughts like “Oh, will this new pair of shoes make me socially desirable now?” or “Oh, I will like this new band because everyone says I should.” Introverts say: “I like these shoes. They’re comfortable and who cares if others don’t,” and “I hate Hanson. They bite.” Being introverted is not being different for the sake of being different, which is a point many people miss. Being happy is being happy… realizing the truth of your dreams and happiness and making the choices that will lead you there.
But in order to realize your dreams, your true dreams, you have to seek inwards to find them. Don’t rely on what your teacher or your priest or your best friend says. Rely on your “self”… your rational, honest, thinking “self”. Only then can you truly be happy.
But being introverted doesn’t mean shutting yourself off from the world. If the people you meet and befriend can help lead you to your dreams and goals, then go for it. But don’t be friends with someone just because they’re cool. Don’t be friends with someone just because someone says you should. And, most importantly, don’t do anything just because people say you should. Parties, drugs, drinking, smokes, crime… these all pass in time. But your “self”, your true “Self” that comes from introverted thinking… that is the basis of what we call “Forever.”
In this culture, introversion equals “loser.” Fine, if that makes us losers in other people’s eyes, then so be it. But what do you suppose we think of them?
By society’s standards, Kathy and I could probably be considered losers. Why? Simply because we don’t spend all our time trying to foster relationships with people we wouldn’t want to touch with a dead salamander. Thus, we spend most of our time with small circles of real friends, and maybe just fostering acquaintances. This leads to plenty of time together just reading and watching movies and talking, and not feeling the need to relentlessly attend every party that we can find.
We are introverts. Carl Jung said that people tend toward either extraversion or introversion. Social extraverts focus on the outside world and social introverts focus on an inner reality. Introverts look within rather than without for the center of their lives. Now tell me… which looks more appealing to you? Who do you think is truly happier?
I am not lambasting extraverts for, if that is what they want, fine. What I am saying is that is not the life for me, and trying to be too much of either would be dangerous. Unfortunately, too many people seem to think that being an extremely extraverted person is the way to go, while being a slightly introverted person is the way to rot.
I beg to differ.
Extraverts look to without for their happiness, and that is their problem. They fill their world with the attentions and problems of others that they make no room for themselves. This can often lead to identities shaped by outside forces rather than inward contemplation. And, no matter what the church tells you, outside forces such as clergy, teachers, or even parents can’t tell you who to be or how to be happy. They can feed you the information, but once you blindly subscribe to their ideals, you are lost. Ultimately, YOU have to make the choice of what will make you happy. YOU have to make the choice of how to live. It is YOUR life.
Introverts understand this. Our happiness comes not from thoughts like “Oh, will this new pair of shoes make me socially desirable now?” or “Oh, I will like this new band because everyone says I should.” Introverts say: “I like these shoes. They’re comfortable and who cares if others don’t,” and “I hate Hanson. They bite.” Being introverted is not being different for the sake of being different, which is a point many people miss. Being happy is being happy… realizing the truth of your dreams and happiness and making the choices that will lead you there.
But in order to realize your dreams, your true dreams, you have to seek inwards to find them. Don’t rely on what your teacher or your priest or your best friend says. Rely on your “self”… your rational, honest, thinking “self”. Only then can you truly be happy.
But being introverted doesn’t mean shutting yourself off from the world. If the people you meet and befriend can help lead you to your dreams and goals, then go for it. But don’t be friends with someone just because they’re cool. Don’t be friends with someone just because someone says you should. And, most importantly, don’t do anything just because people say you should. Parties, drugs, drinking, smokes, crime… these all pass in time. But your “self”, your true “Self” that comes from introverted thinking… that is the basis of what we call “Forever.”
In this culture, introversion equals “loser.” Fine, if that makes us losers in other people’s eyes, then so be it. But what do you suppose we think of them?
posted by Thomas at 12:11 AM
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